Failing to Exercise Visitation
I have represented my fair share of both men and women in family law disputes over the course of years. Specifically, with regard to visitation something does not make sense to me. Why do certain parents decide not to exercise their self petitioned and court ordered visitation orders. Usually, while the litigation is proceeding, these parents fight tooth and nail to get every kind of visitation possible. But when it comes time to exercise this visitation, they are no where to be found.
There simply is no way to make someone exercise their visitation schedule. You could file a Petition for Rule to Show Cause for their non-compliance with the court order. Frankly, I've never seen that happen. You could move the court to terminate the parents visitation rights by showing that the lack of visitation is a substantial endangerment to the child's emotional, psychological and physical health. However, it's very difficult to meet the standard of substantial endangerment.
Illinois law encourages visitation by stating "that visitation affords members of a family the opportunity to communicate with each other, and thus diminish hostilities and foster an atmosphere in which a renewal of affection may take place." In re Marriage of Reed, 100 Ill. App. 3d 873 (1981). However, Illinois law also provides that a non-custodial parent cannot be forced to exercise his or her visitation rights. Something simply doesn't make sense.
When a parent fails to exercise his or her visitation rights, he or she doesn't realize the damage they are causing to their relationship with their child or children. It is the child who waits around for the phone call on Saturday. It is the child who sits by the door on Friday afternoon waiting for their other parent to spend the weekend with them. It is the child who asks the custodial parent, why doesn't my mommy or daddy visit with me or see me more often. In the end, it is the child who is left hurt and emotionally scarred.
Take a moment to think about what is important to you in life. If your family, child or children didn't enter your mind within the first few seconds of thinking about what is important to you, then you need to have your head checked.
It is never too late to show love and affection and build a strong, loving relationship with your child or children. So, make time and go call or visit your child or children.
